May 2010
19 posts
4 tags
May 31st
4 tags
May 31st
3 tags
May 31st
“I will go to an animal shelter and buy you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in...”
– Sue Sylvester.  (via ifellasleepwatchingveronicamars) Favorite lines of all time! :D 
May 28th
4 tags
“I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
– Rodney Dangerfield 
May 28th
3 tags
“When I was a boy, I laid in my twin-sized bed and wondered where my brother was.”
– Mitch Hedberg 
May 28th
May 28th
3 notes
2 tags
“Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that...”
– George Carlin 
May 27th
2 notes
2 tags
“I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.”
– Mitch Hedberg
May 26th
2 tags
“Isn’t it strange, when you’re single, all you see is couples, and...”
– Jim Gaffigan 
May 26th
2 notes
May 25th
3 tags
“I think they could take Sesame seeds off the market and I wouldn’t even...”
– Mitch Hedberg
May 25th
3 tags
“I’ve got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It...”
– Mitch Hedberg 
May 25th
3 tags
May 25th
3 tags
May 25th
May 23rd
21 notes
May 23rd
9,952 notes
2 tags
May 23rd
2 notes
2 tags
May 23rd